Mental Matters: The Kondo Effect

Mental Matters: The Kondo Effect

Spring equinox is here. A marked time for renewal and for life to take form. In preparation, cleaning is full swing in this household. Full on every crevice scrubbed and “this no longer reside here” pitching type of cleaning. No, I haven’t been bitten by the Kondo- Joy bug. The spring cleaning habit comes from a deep belief in the connection of clutter and mental health. That belief extends to mental health affecting physical health. Mental space reflects environmental space. Environmental space feeds into mental space. How you set up and care your environment impacts your over all health. Take this change of season as an opportunity. An opportunity remove what no longer helps, to clean out the cobwebs in and out, and create a space for newness in your life.

When weather allows, begin with your outer most space of your home. Simply wiping down an apartment door makes a difference. Your outer home reflect your outer you. It’s the first vision a person has of you. Take pride in its cleanliness and expression. You may not be able to control your home curb appeal or door appeal. The next space to clean and create is your entry way. It doesn’t need to be extravagant and simple creative expressions are valuable. Love your outer you in all physical spaces. This may be a time to reflect, as you work, on your outer you. What is so amazingly unique about how you express yourself? This is clothes, hair, talk, walk, and more. It’s not a time to compare, this time is to find the value in the details of your personal physical expressions of self.

The next area to tackle in cleaning are common living areas. Living room, shared bathrooms, and kitchens are a few common rooms. Any shared space needs an uplifted. Physically wipe down top to bottom. Time or ability may limit this task being done at once. Break it up through the day or by days. Spring cleaning is once year, don’t allow it to consume you. Sweep, mop, vacuum floors. Wipe or clean all furniture lovingly as it has supported you through every other season. As you clean, reflect on what connections and relationships you have. What negative relationships need to be cut? What kind of relationships or people do you want to know more of? Who could you invest more kindness in or provide kindness for? How can I share my common space to create more joy in my life?

Last major areas of your home are bedrooms and closets. There may be small closets, laundry rooms, or side rooms in your home you can spruce up along the way. Once you are to the bedrooms and those closets, it’s time to make it personal. Begin top to bottom. Wipe down walls. Cleaning hack? I used a mop with a washable cloth (no string mops). Made my life easier. Re arrange furniture, dust, and wipe down all furniture. While working in these personal spaces, consider the inner most you. What habits do you have right now that work? Celebrate you. What are some habits and self believing thoughts that need to go? How can you invest in a better you? Mentally? Physically? In Spirit?

While moving through each of these phases of your home and you, de clutter could be necessary. You can try the joy method. See quote below! Often it’s simply looking at how an object has been used. Haven’t used or worn it in a year or year and a half? Toss it. Better yet, donate. Taxes and other important paper forms should be in a clearly marked box or file. Limit and value sentimental items. I really. I mean REALLY need to do a lot of self talk to keep my kids saved art work to a reasonable amount. Two to three pieces a year of their growing is saved. Clothes and shoes no longer fitting or worn can be donated. The year to year and a half rule applies here. Holiday gifts shoved in the back of the closet? Time to go. Toys out grown? Donate or sell. Got a long over due and dusty hobby shoved somewhere? Truly consider its value to you and whether it’s time to let go. De clutter signals your brain and space its time to make room. Room for new joys and memories.

After the cleaning and de cluttering has happened, organize your space. Group like objects together in the kitchen, then put them in spaces that make sense to your flow of every day life. Example, cutting boards are below where the knives are on the counter. Pots, skillets, and baking ware are stored next to the stove. In storage coordinate important papers and momentos together in labeled boxes. Holidays are stored with each other. Clothes and shoes in the closet can be grouped by season, color, and type (i.e. pants with pants, shirts with shirts). This act of organizing space may surprise you as thoughts begin to process. It may be an act of organizing thoughts and memories.

It’s important to decorate your space that is most you and for those who live with you. From outer space to inner space, consider: using colors, displaying sentimental items, functionality of furniture/objects, creating artwork, and more. Make it you. That tangible reflection of you goes right back into supporting you. Clean spaces are renewal. Organize spaces promote growth. Personal physical expressions inspire more you. Love and value your home space, no matter what it is. It’s yours to make unique and gorgeously you.

Namaste

Juls

Advertisements
Article on Un-Meditating

Article on Un-Meditating

“In mindfulness one is not only restful and happy, but alert and awake. Meditation is not an evasion; it is a serene encounter with reality.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

Excerpt from article

“The stillness of mediation may seem impossible in its concept and practice. When meditation looks challenging, consider an un-mediation practice. Un-meditation is movement while encountering your mind and inviting a peace of mind. The act is cultivation of a healthy head space much like sit down type of meditation practices. When an individual is active, the body increases oxygen production which boosts your mind-focus ability. “

Click on the link below for more!

https://medium.com/@j.riley.wordartist/the-un-meditation-practice-ee29e5717acd

Tomorrow is more on head space junk removal!

Highest in me to the Highest in You,

Juls

Being Selfish to be Selfless

Being Selfish to be Selfless

There is problematic self. The burnt out one. The drained soul with a giving famine. Being generous has a boomerang of its own rewards. However, when we don’t invest in self care or set boundaries, we can risk becoming run down. Suddenly we find our ability to give stunted. We need in-pour time to make the most of our out-pour-giving opportunities.

Boundaries & The Power of Nope

From a parent perspective- I have one HUGE NOPE- I am not a maid. Everyone pitches in and if you made the mess, you clean it up. Parental boundaries. Sometimes I pick up their slack and sometimes they pick up mine. All the same, the message it clear. Mom is not your maid boundary. What boundaries do you need to set? Don’t want to attend that event? As long as it’s not essential for your life or career, then give a simple no thank you. It’s more than okay to say no, no thank you, nope with love for self and the invitee. Need some space? Communicate that and when you can reconnect again. Can’t volunteer for everything? Yeah, me too. Additionally, stop saying sorry. It’s such a verbal reflex!! A no and boundaries are nothing to apologize for. When we say sorry, we signal to ourselves guilt for setting the boundary. Having that guilt leads to troubles in setting boundaries. Guilt is for true mistakes to direct us to correct a wrong, not drawing appropriate lines to protect our space. Being able to give simple nope and setting your boundary lines is a powerful skill you must have.

Self Care

Self Care is the physical, mental, and soulful effort to boost your out-pour flow. Physically, this looks like clean body, clean clothes, optimal nutrition, and your preferred exercise. It’s not a particular image. This is caring with hygiene for more of you. It’s your daily, if not hourly, investment to your body. A simple walk, easy protein/veggie dinner, and a shower does wonders. All of this may not always attainable, especially as a care giver. Tick as many boxes as you can. Mind and soul health is crucial to anyone’s daily routine. You need individual time to breathe. Journal, draw, pray/meditation, or just breathe- de junk your brain. This practice of “sitting and quiet self” cannot be understated- even a few minutes has a voluminous impact. We pick up so much in our living and it needs to be let go. Refresh and reset.

Hug Yourself From the Inside Out

Delegate & Exchange

Independence is amazing; especially when your kids dress and perform hygiene task on their own. Beyond freaking awesome. Yet, being too independent or being isolated from help can hinder your generosity ability. If you have too many “hats on” or “plates going” it can lead anxiety, sleeplessness, or overwhelm. When this happens, it’s time to let go or hand over. Even better, hand it over sooner before you hit that panic point. Knowing your lines is immensely powerful. Prioritize, find that line, then anything under that line needs an eviction notice. It may be beneficial to exchange obligations or duties. A task, event, or responsibility could be troublesome right now but not later. Connect to find help and exchange that help. More than likely, you both win a release at some point. Build your all hands on deck community.

Finding a defined time is a necessary for you. The part I love best in self investment is that it doesn’t take much time and truly allows for more to give later. The hardest part, for me, is boundaries. It’s attainable and worth the effort in making these skills. Make the most of your incredible self.

Follow me on Instagram to see my boundary testers and points of relief. Then check me out on Pinterest for lots of ideas on “you investments” on my Holistic Health board and word inspirations on my Affirmations and Truths board. I love sharing and will follow back!

Namaste in you to make most of you

Juls

A Bowl of WTH: The Stress Factor. How Your Mind Can Sabatoge Your Body.

A Bowl of WTH: The Stress Factor. How Your Mind Can Sabatoge Your Body.

When looking at what healthy “is” often it’s purely physical. How much and what do we eat? Exercise? Sleep? There is a factor when making health habits we dismiss while it is ever present in our life. Stress. It has the most impact on your life and is integrated with all your wellness. It is with whole heart belief that if stress or head space is not a part of your health routine, much of what you do will be sabotaged. It flips the other way around too, the physical well being of you sabotages your head space too. Mental and physical wellness matters equally.

That Healthy Throat Clearing Habit

I don’t mean spitting. I mean if you must, do. I’m talking about talking. Healthy word vomit, clear the air talking. Not in a social media group. Unless it is a closed and trusted group, release with a trusted human or furry friend or mental wellness professional. Dogs are excellent confidants btw. Yes, public airings need to happen from time to time. However, clearing first with a close friend is best. The reasoning is you are putting yourself in a strong space after processing what you’re feeling and going through. Social media is too wide open loves. It leaves you wide open for all kinds of negativity. Again, I’m not saying hold it in. Release in a safe place then use social media to advocate and educate. If you’re not sure talking to a human being is safe at first, write it! Furry friend! Speak it into a jar! Moon talk! Sun is not recommended. She can be a bit much to keep eye contact. Seriously, start flexing those throat muscles to let go of what is clogging up your entire body.

Lung Exercise

Breathing or Pranayama practice is an incredible physical habit you can use to control your nerves and emotional well being. It is a preventative tool in the best and a reactive tool when needed. There are breathing or “calm” app you can download to guide you through. A Youtube video on breathing practices may help. Find a yogi or yogini and they may be able to help you or a meditation teacher. Pranayama or intentional breathing is essential to their practices. When you learn to control your breath, it levels your nerve activity, oxygen levels, and ultimately stops the survival mode. The more you practice the more potent your breathing practice gets.

Core Beliefs

What you believe about yourself and your abilities infiltrates everything. Growth is always needed but knowing your value is crucial. Daily short phrases, or affirmations, is one way to re-train your brain. List what you like about you and what you can do. When mistakes are made, invite in grace and be graceful with yourself. We all make mistakes, need to fix mistakes, but we are not the mistakes.

While working on these, keep up activity and move towards more nutritional eating. Physical activity increases blow and oxygen flow benefiting your nerve system and brain. When my nerves are tested, its walk or clean time. Maybe a quick yoga. Your food relationship can inflame your head space negatively. Truly limit sugars and processed foods. The more whole or natural, the more likely it will not only NOT INFLAME but REDUCE inflammation. Look at the whole you when being well. Head, heart, and body.

Invest in the best you, it starts in your head

Namaste

Juls

A Bowl of WTH: Cleanse/Detox: Exorcism of Food and Environmental Demons.

A Bowl of WTH: Cleanse/Detox: Exorcism of Food and Environmental Demons.

Take two steps into the health and wellness world, you will find terms like “detox” and “cleanse.” Personally, these terms were not even on my radar until my daughter saw a Gastroenterologist. By this point I had a preschooler with digestive issues, tons of trial and error diet changes, and little results. Try cleansing every two weeks he said. Sounds easy, until you have to pump so much juice and laxative in your preschooler until it becomes criminal. I truly wish I knew then what I have grasped of now. Life is easier and brighter with a few simple, healthier tweaks.

Coming to Terms with Terms

First of all there is a difference between the two with a common goal. A cleanse is an intentional effort using medicine (sythentic or natural) or food to remove harming substances from your digestional tract. A detox is a variety of processes, from activity to food to behavior changes, to rid anywhere in the body of toxins. Each term has been used for another and I truly do not believe its the end of the world if you do. The point is understanding you accumulate toxins and they need to be exorcised.

It’s More than a Physical Relationship

Cleansing or detoxing your body is central to your “whole self” health. The understanding that your are cleansing more than your body is essential. What cleans out your gut and adrenal system goes to your head, literally. Having toxic thoughts, behaviors, and relationships show up physically in your body. One impacts the other and cleanses in both areas need to happen.

It’s Not A Sometimes Thing

Whether is food, an experience, illness, or just plain bad day- on some level, your body has to flush out daily. Often its unintentional in what we pick up, may be not even all that bad and seems small. Yet, it accumulates and will show up in us sooner or later. Daily head and physical junk removal in important. Bigger cleanses may be required on top of the daily, especially after vacations, special events, or a big life event. Know that daily you need this habit and listening yourself when its time to do this bigger stuff.

It Doesn’t Need to Be a Harsh or Difficult Process

We will hit on the overview of how to cleanse, but it’s important to know that punishing your body or mind is never necessary. The cleansing or detoxing processing can be uncomfortable and challenge our preconceived bodily and mental limitations. It promotes healing and growth in working through those cleanses. However, personally, I find it more harm than good to pick up a cleansing process that causes more than an uncomfortable state. With a few exceptions, it shouldn’t cause pain. Mental cleanses are the hardest in my personal opinion and can border, if not be emotionally painful in the removal process. However, the healing afterwards is astounding.

What Needs to Go & Ways to Do It

Drink it. Lots of water. You can throw in lemon and/or ginger, cinnamon in your water to boost toxin removal. Green or herbal teas (dandelion) are powerful ways to cleanse and detox. Berries and green veggies are great food relationship cleansers. While you are addressing your food relationship, eat and take fiber. Fiber is a daily cleanse choice we all need to have. Add garlic and tumeric to your food. Both of these flavor additions are excellent in cleanse and anti inflammatory agents as well. Drink water, up your fiber content, and pick a few of these small changes in your daily routine. It will have a major impact, particularly as you keep it up over time.

What you need less of is junk. You can cleanse and detox all day long but it’s going to be stunted in it’s power if you are eating a lot of process foods. I am all for splurges and aim to be transparent in my food relationship vices. However, they are short leased and for good reason. Drive thru avoidance with a rare encounter and sugar detox are necessary. The ingredients are addictive and harmful in a daily relationship. We eat at home a lot and the more whole the food is purchased the better. When buying a box, frozen, or bag ingredient- I look for ingredients I know and can pronounce. There is nothing wrong with semi homemade.

You need some form of physical activity daily to promote bodily cleanse. Walk, run, yoga, zumba, weights, kick boxing, tai chi- It doesn’t matter what you do or what combos you choice during your week. Discover what you need or like and then do it.

As what we do physically affects our physical and mental state, it goes the other way around. In the mental realm it can get sticky as we work to bust stigmas and explore options that are not as familiar. Meditation, journaling, coloring, creative processes, mantras/affirmations, sound therapy, Reiki, EFT tapping, Yoga, Tai Chi, and Qi Gong are a few ways to incorporate a daily habit or occasional boost to cleanse the mind. It doesn’t need to be just one and variety is best. This does help in the daily mental flush but may not be enough if there is deep hurt. A counselor, therapist, spiritual healer, natural healer, or combination may be necessary to address toxic experiences, behavior, and more. You have the power to heal and there are those who wish to help you accomplish that.

Just in writing this post I picked up stress as I struggle to focus with the million times I was interrupted by my son. Having that EFT tapping and breathing practice got me through. Connecting with my kids is great, but mommy has boundaries and limitations. Mental health is a personal responsibility that invites incredible opportunities for connections. Most daily activities have alone options as well as “come join me” or ” I’ll join you” options. I love joining various yoga communities, do EFT tap with my kids, and my hubby and I enjoy creative processes. Alone time is precious too with my meditation and spiritual/natural healing practices. It wasn’t that long ago I joined a group in sugar detox from the holidays and looking at switching up my food relationship for concentrated liver detox. All this to say, this girl practices what she preach. And bust it once a month or so for some Doritos. That and cookies truly are my delicious vice. Take those steps, yes even baby steps, and start with a cleanse/detox habit or two to maximize your whole self health.

Namaste in Your Junk Removal/ Exorcism Process

Juls

A Bowl of WTH: Diet Idols and Your Diet

A Bowl of WTH: Diet Idols and Your Diet

This can become a charged discussion and topic. I am going to handle this with care and truth. Up front, I do not believe Modern Western Medicine is everything as I tend to follow eastern dietary guidelines such as Ayurveda. I do not believe in total food group eliminations or eating mostly from one group on an extended basis. You can disagree with me respectfully and your opinion has value. It’s important to address the misconceptions surrounding what we should eat or not eat, especially fad diets. Hang with me till the end.

Diet Idols

AKA as fad diets or diet trends. This isn’t completely unique to the United States but runs rampant with damage. The damage of diet trends can be your health, weight management, and body perceptions. Your health and weight management may take a toll with eliminating necessary food groups in your daily food connections and yo yo weight loss and gain. Constant weight loss and weight gain can cause stress on your heart and psyche. The reason that yo yo weight happens is extreme changes are successful for a time period and cannot be maintained. Thus completely eliminating carbs, going total protein, or high amounts of fat may be too challenging. This also puts your body function and flow into over drive or dysfunction. You need the right carbs to fuel. Too much protein can tax your kidneys and adrenal systems to the point of creating kidney stones plus more. High amounts of fat over time can create acid reflux/heart burn and heart problems. The true issue with many diets and fads are the extremes which impact you and your ability to believe in making sustaining healthy choices.

However….

These trends are not wholly bad. Low carb diets have brought to light that much of our American carb consumption has been unhealthy and too much grain carb as opposed to needing fruit and veggie carbs. So yes, you need to reduce or eliminate white, bleached wheat products and aim for whole grains. The right carbs in the right amount is what is needed. Other diets have highlighted our over involvement with sugar and needing to lower sugar consumption. Some diets push more whole food and less process foods. There are times where you may need more of a certain group of food more than another. When my iron was low, I ate mostly lean proteins and vegetables. When my reflux acted up, it was half whole grains. Right now I am balanced and my food relationship reflects that. Temporarily doing a food more over another can be necessary but rarely beneficial in being permanent. Following diets of extremes are harmful. Take changes with a grain of salt and keep balance of proteins, fats, grains, and veggie/fruit.

Your Diet Choices

You need to keep balance in mind. I have been watching so many people and health professionals in these trends. Those who find balance and keep that “rainbow” vegetable and fruit food relationship are maintaining success and health with some of these diet trends. It is possible but balance is the key. They do not take extremes. A while ago, for kicks, I took a nutrition course from an Australian university. It was enlightening with global student involvement and instruction. From this and researching other countries dietary guidelines, I learned our government guidelines compares well in understanding (USA dietary link below). It is important to keep an eye on what changes in guidelines. Old enough to remember the food pyramind? Chuck that out the window. It’s more about the lean protein and veggies, while lowering (not eliminating) grains. Plus variety. And balance. Am I repeating myself? It’s that important. If you want more specific guidelines thus choosing a diet or point plan, know this needs to be a long term or permanent change. It’s not going to work long term if you go back to what you were doing before. Take note of why something is working. More often than not, its due to removing foods that were never met to be in your daily relationship to begin with and more of the good stuff. Take note when it’s not working. It could be your body needs something different. Something medically is going on. Or mental health and/or stress needs more attention. You are not a set of systems, you are a person with a soul. Your mental care affects your body’s function and ability. Your habits for your physical lifestyle affect your mental state. It’s all connected and needs to be viewed with equal importance.

I do whole heartedly believe, within reason, it’s okay to splurge every once and while. Self participation a couple of weeks ago. Certainly, semi splurge on a once a week basis (as in one meal). The reason for once a week, one meal has little to do with weight but more with it affects in how you feel afterwards. It sucks, trust me. Going to far in splurges impacts your over all emotional and mental health quicker than physical health.

Guidelines in You Daily Food Relationship

There are health professionals who can guide and help create specific plans if you find that route enhances your success. These things you need to keep in mind when making choices

  1. Am I eliminating a necessary food group? Am I eating too much of a food group? Carbs (grains & veggies & fruits), Proteins (nuts, beans, meat, and some veggies), or Fats (unsaturated, monounsaturated, and polyunsaturated)- You need some kind of presence of these in your diet (also known as macros). Then as you go along, is it impacting your health negatively? I must watch my fat levels and keep it low but for others the recommended or slightly higher levels of fats are fine. Raw diets are not for everyone. It could impact your digestion. Too much protein and side pain? Get that checked out. Lower proteins or opt for more veggie based proteins.
  2. Is there appropriate portion control or can I achieve appropriate portion control? More than likely, Americans eat too much in a sitting but some diets call for too little and don’t accommodate for stepping down into appropriate portions. It’s okay to work into a life style change and it not happen immediately. Most likely small changes will lead to better success.
  3. How is my mental health? If you feel defeated and deal with self doubt then there is some soul/mental work to be done along side your diet changes. A counselor, wellness coach, life coach, spiritual coach, or trusted friend needs to be a part of your plan. Success in your food relationship is not wholly dependent on what you put or don’t put in your mouth. Its part mind set too. I love Louise Hay books and Mirror work she describes. EFT tapping is amazing (Tapping Solution, Donna Eden). These are two things you can invest in easily and right now. Additionally, don’t compare yourself to others. The steps you make are yours and they count. Baby steps are still steps. Concentrate on you then celebrate with others.

This is all to inform and caution you for your health and best success. No judgement on what you decided to do. With the exception, DO NOT go to the extreme unless a medical professional states it is necessary for you and you are being monitored. I cannot understate how important balance is.

Namaste in Your Food Relationship

JRiley

Here is the current link for American Government Health Agency guidelines (2015-2020) https://health.gov/dietaryguidelines/2015/.  

The New Year’s Resolve

The New Year’s Resolve

For some, New Years Resolutions has the true power to bring change. For the rest of us, there are just too many memes making fun of New Years Resolutions and it holds some serious truth. Under those phrases of superficial hope is lack of trust in newness and the potency change can bring in our lives. To claim that power of purposeful change, it often takes mental shifts of how we see ourselves. Then its pulling that dream down to you in a tangible and achievable way.

Be Willing

Change is mental and mentality needs will to drive it. The monster of an impact we want in change is to train our brains into being willing. “I am willing to change” from Louise Hay’s publications is a simple yet potent phrase. You may be as surprised as I was at what little whispers come up when saying this phrase. Those whispers of doubt and mistrust are powerful blocks toward making outward growth. Commanding your willingness daily, if not hourly, is powerful in retraining your mental state. That retraining may mean tackling some deep issues. Seek help and support whether is professional, family, friends, life or wellness coach, community group, self help book or course. Let your brain know “I am willing to change” so that the rest of you follows.

Digging, healing, and retraining takes time. You can set mini goals in the mean time. Make sure they are achievable for you and enhance your process. Any way you want to be active works. Any step towards a healthier diet, not dieting, works. Do not beat on yourself or let any one do so if these changes are small or take time. Baby steps lead to bigger steps. As long as your stepping, your stepping up. Unless a professional says it’s an emergency, work with in your time frame and abilities.

I Choose

Claim you, “I choose to.” Set a tangible, you cant smell it and touch it, it gonna happen because you can choose. Set a goal. Resolution is to do and goal is where you’re headed. Know where you’re headed. If you don’t like the goal analogy then set a target, finish line, achievement, or fairy dance. It doesn’t matter what you call it, it’s the understanding you are set for a personal destination. Once you have that goal you need to gather what it takes to get there. Elementary my dears: who, what, where, when, and hows. Who can help you? What resource do you need? What time investments? Where is this needing to take place? When do this need to happen by or not? When should certain achievements take place before you can advance? How long should this take? Or not? Then write it. Vision board it. Make a video to your future self on how this got done. A reminder, a map is extremely helpful. It my be helpful to add your why? why do you choose to do this? for you? for a desired life style? for family? a person? to overcome? Your why can be your reminder to drive. Add that in your visuals.

There is a disclosure I must share. Initially I started with a goal and then went back to dig deeper. Goal setting may lead you to something incredible. For my personal advancement, it’s been a cycle of dig deep, know myself, and goal. Over and over and over. If a goal needs to be set first to ignite those first steps, then light it up. Trust your process.

Whatever it is you want in this newness of 2019, be gracious with yourself. Set what works for you and know it doesn’t have to take full steam right now. You have a full year! If not more! Be willing, make your choice, and be victorious.

Namaste JRiley