There is problematic self. The burnt out one. The drained soul with a giving famine. Being generous has a boomerang of its own rewards. However, when we don’t invest in self care or set boundaries, we can risk becoming run down. Suddenly we find our ability to give stunted. We need in-pour time to make the most of our out-pour-giving opportunities.
Boundaries & The Power of Nope
From a parent perspective- I have one HUGE NOPE- I am not a maid. Everyone pitches in and if you made the mess, you clean it up. Parental boundaries. Sometimes I pick up their slack and sometimes they pick up mine. All the same, the message it clear. Mom is not your maid boundary. What boundaries do you need to set? Don’t want to attend that event? As long as it’s not essential for your life or career, then give a simple no thank you. It’s more than okay to say no, no thank you, nope with love for self and the invitee. Need some space? Communicate that and when you can reconnect again. Can’t volunteer for everything? Yeah, me too. Additionally, stop saying sorry. It’s such a verbal reflex!! A no and boundaries are nothing to apologize for. When we say sorry, we signal to ourselves guilt for setting the boundary. Having that guilt leads to troubles in setting boundaries. Guilt is for true mistakes to direct us to correct a wrong, not drawing appropriate lines to protect our space. Being able to give simple nope and setting your boundary lines is a powerful skill you must have.
Self Care is the physical, mental, and soulful effort to boost your out-pour flow. Physically, this looks like clean body, clean clothes, optimal nutrition, and your preferred exercise. It’s not a particular image. This is caring with hygiene for more of you. It’s your daily, if not hourly, investment to your body. A simple walk, easy protein/veggie dinner, and a shower does wonders. All of this may not always attainable, especially as a care giver. Tick as many boxes as you can. Mind and soul health is crucial to anyone’s daily routine. You need individual time to breathe. Journal, draw, pray/meditation, or just breathe- de junk your brain. This practice of “sitting and quiet self” cannot be understated- even a few minutes has a voluminous impact. We pick up so much in our living and it needs to be let go. Refresh and reset.
Delegate & Exchange
Independence is amazing; especially when your kids dress and perform hygiene task on their own. Beyond freaking awesome. Yet, being too independent or being isolated from help can hinder your generosity ability. If you have too many “hats on” or “plates going” it can lead anxiety, sleeplessness, or overwhelm. When this happens, it’s time to let go or hand over. Even better, hand it over sooner before you hit that panic point. Knowing your lines is immensely powerful. Prioritize, find that line, then anything under that line needs an eviction notice. It may be beneficial to exchange obligations or duties. A task, event, or responsibility could be troublesome right now but not later. Connect to find help and exchange that help. More than likely, you both win a release at some point. Build your all hands on deck community.
Finding a defined time is a necessary for you. The part I love best in self investment is that it doesn’t take much time and truly allows for more to give later. The hardest part, for me, is boundaries. It’s attainable and worth the effort in making these skills. Make the most of your incredible self.
Follow me on Instagram to see my boundary testers and points of relief. Then check me out on Pinterest for lots of ideas on “you investments” on my Holistic Health board and word inspirations on my Affirmations and Truths board. I love sharing and will follow back!
Namaste in you to make most of you